• December 2008
"Life sucks, and then you die."
A co-worker of mine, just out of college in Ann Arbor, was fond of saying this in the early 1980's. It certainly is a succinct description of many people's experience, though we all try to narrow our focus to some set of activities and circumstances to hide the fact. Increasingly of late, here in the twenty-first century, I had become unable to do so.
To recap, my life to this point could be divided into three main phases. The depressing reality of existence before transition, when I had to hide my feelings from everyone. A brief euphoria surrounding and immediately following transition when I could finally be myself. A long period of coping with the fact that many people, in and out of the so-called LBGT community, at best do not understand trans people and at worst prefer us to be invisible or dead. Eventually I realized that further narrowing of my focus would cause me to cross the event horizon of the black hole my life was tending toward, so I bailed out.
After 55 years on the roller coaster of life, I was on my own again in 2007. I was writing books, drawing a comic, and I believed I had a flexible and secure day job as the secretary in the LBGT Resource Center of a large midwestern university. Then Risa and Resu, presenting themselves as my muses, suddenly appeared in my comic and soon stepped out into my real life.
Within two months, there was a fire in the building where I lived, and at work a smiling bastard rearranged my schedule to require me to sit at a desk in a frigid corner from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. with nothing of substance to do. My emotional and physical health soon crashed. I looked for a different job, but not being a reality television star, found that no one would give the time of day, much less an interview, to an aging nonconformist transgender techie with a history of outspoken campus activism.
I decided to use my retirement savings to exit an untenable situation and trust my future to the Fates, despite the fact that fate had been strangely unkind to me since Resu and Risa had entered my life. Eventually I realized that both my Muses and the Fates were gods, and they had an unfortunate history of mutual antagonism.
It turns out that Resu and Risa also had had a pretty rough time growing up; the gods hardly being paragons of normalcy or sanity.
— ∴ —
And so I began my life over again. With a few important differences.
Next (first) chapter. Return to story page.
This is a work in progress; it will continue to change.
Return to Lisa's home page
A work of autobiographical fiction; story and|
art copyright © by Lisa Lees.