Ground Rules
by Lisa Lees

I wanted these ground rules as a sidebar to my opinion column in The State News, "Sexual orientation polarizes Christian group," on 21 October 1999. We repeated and clarified these at the start of each discussion session.

• This is a discussion, not a debate. No one is going to win, no one is going to loose.
• Listen. Hear what the other person is saying. Let them finish talking. Realize that the same word may mean different things to different people.
• Talk about yourself and your own experiences. Ask questions of others, but do not challenge the validity of their personal experience.
• Do not generalize from your experience and feelings to the experience and feelings of others. Let them speak for themselves.
• Do not attack, do not try to hurt, do not pass judgment.
• Treat this discussion as a private conversation; do not repeat elsewhere what is said here.

These ground rules were loosely adapted from those found on the Bridges Across the Divide web site.